Reject Modernity, Embrace Monkey: Top 6 Monkeys of all Time

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Lenny Roque

Monkeys are historic animals, as they have allowed for the advancement in science as well in the entertainment industry.

Lenny Roque, Staff Writer

Many say that dogs are man’s best friend, but contrary to popular belief, monkeys are much better suited for the role. They can walk on two legs and wear some of the most fire fits known to man. Monkeys are movie stars, scientists, rockstars; essentially, everything humans are with elevated swag. Time and time again, they demonstrate that they are not to be underestimated. These are the 6 pop culture monkeys that reign supreme.

6. Albert II
Albert II was the first monkey to go to infinity and beyond. Although his moment was short lived, he was one of the first animals to go to space, which allowed for humanity to progress scientifically. He basically influenced the idea of astronauts and Buzz Lightyear, which is a great start to this list because if it was not for him then there would be no such thing as Toy Story (trust me on this one). However, he does not compare to some of the other monkeys on this list because he does lack the meme-ifigance of his counterparts.

5. Washoe
Washoe the chimpanzee demonstrated the potential that monkeys have to rise up to human capabilities. She was able to learn sign language and communicate her thoughts with humans, meaning she was able to throw some of the best gang signs out there. This shocked the world and demonstrated how impressive monkeys are. Her ability to communicate would influence other experiments and would earn her the title of the swaggiest (living) monkey. The reason she does not rank higher is because although she was able to accomplish such a great feat, there was so much untapped potential that was not accomplished. She could have made her own gang of monkeys or overruled the human race, but unfortunately did not which means she must rank at 5th place.

4. Curious George
Curious George is the monkey everyone grew up with as a child. He is truly an inspiration to all the kids out there.The star of a movie, Emmy Award-winning TV series and many books, George is the Brad Pitt (or on a good day, George Clooney) of monkeys. Not only is he a multi-millionaire, but a strong fighter because part of his backstory he was able to escape the Nazis. Even with everything he went through, George utilized it to propel himself to become one of the most famous monkeys in history; a complete chad. Now escaping the Nazis is definitely a feat that deserves recognition, but he does not rank higher on this list because just like Washoe he could have done a lot more and did not even need The Man With the Yellow Hat anyway.

Monkeys are the best because they are super friendly, help other animals and you can vibe with them,”

— sophomore Alessandro Moran

3. Donkey Kong
Modeled after King Kong, Donkey Kong is the most infamous monkey in video game history. He resolved an epidemic and quite possibly the worst thing to ever experience: boredom. Before Donkey Kong, people played a game where a pixel moved side to side that ran on a microwave; watching paint dry was more intriguing. He would become an icon and led to some of the most enjoyable video games and tunes that would make the likes of Beethoven rise from the tomb. Even in video games, monkeys would progress the evolution of man. His infamous reputation comes from kidnapping and being a gateway game that lead to crippling addiction: gaming.

2. Caesar
Caesar, the great ape and leader who overthrew humanity, rightfully earns his place as the second best monkey. The protagonist of “Planet of the Apes”, he is king of the ape colony and patriarch of the Royal Ape family. Caesar is a complex character who thinks about his species compared to the usual ape that just thinks about what parts itch or bananas. The depth in his character and complexity is harder to read than “the Scarlet Letter”. He saved lives, rode a horse with flair and every word he says gives goosebumps, earning his top tier monkey status.

“Caesar embodies human pride and emotions for being a different species and apes are so closely related but they are just hairier versions,” junior Franky Velazquez said.

1. King Kong
King Kong is the most iconic monkey in the history of the world. He is the father of the modern monkey people know today. His influence is undeniable in the entertainment industry, as the idea of a monkey being “big brain” was groundbreaking. He has made more money than all of the monkeys mentioned prior combined, meaning he is the monkey with the most bank which is a flex on its own. His story is simple and acts as a foundation for all the other monkeys. A gentle giant, King Kong won the title of king with the exaggerated swagger of a funky, chunky monkey.