CavsConnect’s Guide to Unconventional Hats: the Best of the Best


Jennifer Urbina

Since the dawn of civilization, hats have provided utility and style.

“It is rude to wear a hat indoors” is a common misconception. Rather, it is rude not to wear a hat indoors. A hat can reduce the amount of time to brush our messy hair. Over the course of humanity, the hat industry has evolved and allowed for some of the most stylish hats that turn you from looking like McLovin to Ryan Reynolds.

Young woman enjoying the companionship of Bob the Octopus. (Lenny Roque)

Octo Hat
Having a companion with you can make the day much more enjoyable and with the addition of a hat that makes the day practically perfect. The Octo Hat combines both ideas to bring just that: a companion that can be worn. This idea can be traced back to the pirates, who were prominently seen with parrots on their shoulders. This was a great start, but because Octo Hat is so close to the brain it improves mental health and offers shade. On a very hot day, Octo Hat can excrete its waste to help cool off, which makes the person drippy— both figuratively and literally.

Young man prepares for anything the world throws at him. (Lenny Roque)

Flamingo Floatie

One of the greatest achievements of mankind is to adapt and overcome which is why the flamingo floatie is so great. The flamingo floatie offers utility and style at the same time. This hat is recommended for kids —or adults living under a rock— who cannot swim. Not only that, but it offers protection because nobody would want to tussle with such a menacing hat.

“Hats offer a massive amount of style compared to other articles of clothing,” junior Andrea Sosa said.

Young man waters lettuce to make more hats. (Lenny Roque)

Lettuce Visor
If a visor counts as a hat, so can a lettuce. This hat can be a life saver because we get the munchies and this hat has the potential to satisfy that desire. Lettuce is also extremely aerodynamic and waterproof; if anything, it absorbs that water which allows for an even tastier snack. Lettuce remember the amount of swag that the individual will have with a lettuce hat because we were taught as children eating veggies are the coolest so wearing them must make us even cooler. Lettuce is so cool that even the CDC had to ban it for a while; what a great depression that was.

“One of the best hats because it comes with the spell that makes people see nothing but drip,” freshman Alessandro Moran said.

Young apprentice tries to learn Mickey Magic. (Lenny Roque)

Mickey’s Sorcerer Hat
Hands down, the style of this hat was ahead of its time. The colors compliment one another so well that they allow magic to happen. As a proud owner of this hat, I can firmly say that it would be rude not to wear this indoors. Everytime I go out with the hat, everyone seems to laugh when they see me which just goes to show the magic of this hat. People will come up to you and ask for a picture or engage in a conversation making you feel special. A stylish hat which performs the same magic seen in Fantasia, the Mickey Sorcerer Hat is a must-wear for anyone with swag.