How to Survive Being a Mile High

John Hiaasen, Staff Writer

You’re stuck in the middle of the sky, while being crammed into a metal cylinder full of strangers and luggage. You smell something funny and make a run to the bathroom. You find that it is  just a little box stuffed with a sink and toilet. As you ease yourself away from the small door, you think to yourself, “How am I going to survive?”. Well, worry not troubled airline passenger, here are some tips on how to survive a day on an air plane!

Food: Sadly, you can’t bring your favorite food past airport security (along with scissors and drinks), but there are many restaurants and stores begging you to buy their products. Unspecified pizza places, family restaurants and slightly smaller malls are as far as the eye can see! Luckily there is on-plane food, but it is recommended to stick to soda and pretzels.

Yes, this is real airplane food.
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Yes, this is real airplane food.

Entertainment: Before going to the airport, download a movie; most on-flight movies are not that good since they have to keep movies to an age restriction, so there is a chance of getting a good kids movie but a high probability of some bad comedy with enough cheesy jokes to make anyone hurl. Don’t submit yourself to that kind of torture, download some of your favorite movies onto your laptop beforehand. You can also play video games on your laptop; some planes even have outlets.

Enterainment on Plane
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“Usually since it’s so high up I get headaches, then I get distracted by safety pamphlets and start thinking about how the plane can crash and get really nervous,”  junior Deylis Perez said.

Productivity: All entertainment is productive, but regular entertainment just doesn’t get graded. So if your pencil isn’t mistakenly confiscated as a weapon in airport security, you can do homework. You can also bring a book and read. Be warned though, there is plane sickness; it is quite similar to car sickness but with more people to judge you if you vomit. So, sticking to math homework is my recommendation.

Reading on Plane
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Sanitation: It’s an airplane, so this should be one of the most important things on this list. Since some viruses spread quickly in compact areas, you should always be careful. So bring hand soap with you, and be very careful in the bathrooms-remember it is a small space.

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John Hiaasen

Now that you have read through these helpful tips, hopefully you will be able to survive your trip to an incredible vacation!