Breakfast Battle Royale: Which Cereal Will Prevail?


Lenny Roque

With several options to choose from, some cereals will always reign supreme and start the day off correctly.

Lenny Roque, Staff Writer

Breakfast is known to be the most important meal of the day. One of the most common meals is a simple bowl of cereal and milk, With hundreds of possibilities, there are cereals that the box tastes better than the actual cereal and then there are cereals that can be eaten for breakfast, lunch and dinner. Selecting the right type of cereal can determine the outcome of the day, making the day productive and successful or keep you in the bathroom and contemplate all the regrets you’ve made throughout your entire life. From worst to best, here are some hot takes on the many varieties of cereal.

Wheaties: F

If this cereal could be rated any lower, then by all means it would be. This cereal is extremely plain and has the worst texture. The boxes are ten times more appetizing than the cereal and there is no way any of the athletes that are on the box eat the cereal. If they started off their day with this cereal there is no possible way that they could become as successful as they are.There are no words to describe how bad this cereal is. A rusted coin gives off a more exquisite aroma and at least people will get some iron or other vitamins out of a coin; simply put, Wheaties are not, and never will be, worth the buy.

“Frosted Flakes with no sugar, Kellogg’s corn flakes but worse,” sophomore Alan Maldonado said.

Raisin Bran: F+

Slightly better than Wheaties, Raisin Bran is just another torture device in cereal form. Raisin Bran’s only good quality is that the raisins are slightly covered with sugar, but even then that light sugar layer still does not justify its nauseating taste. The raisin tastes rancid and if it was not for the extra bit of sugar, then it would be on par with Wheaties. The flakes are dry and somehow when milk is added, instead of the flakes turning soggy, they absorb the milk and still become drier than the Sahara desert. Eating Raisin Bran can cut a human’s lifespan by tenfold and it’s disgusting texture is a public safety hazard.

Cookie Crisps: D

This cereal has received much controversy because it is either a hit or miss. Overall, this cereal is rather subpar. They are not actual cookies, but rather have the essence of inflated cardboard. The chocolate bits on the cookies are practically stickers because the second milk is added, they are removed from the cookie. They leave a bad aftertaste and if too much is consumed, the roof of the mouth can begin to hurt and does not heal until the next day. Instead of buying cookie crisps, just buy an actual cookie because not only do they actually taste good, but they are actually enjoyable with milk.

Rice Krispies: C

Rice Krispies themselves has a certain flavor that satisfies the taste buds, but does not stand out. The flavor is nothing special, but it allows the consumer to be satisfied with their meal. The best part about the cereal is that it can snap, crackle and pop when milk is added. Compared to its cocoa or frosted counterparts, the regular Rice Krispies are a decent way to start off the day.

I didn’t know I was alive until I tasted Reese’s Puffs,”

— senior Jonmarcos Hernandez

Honey Nut Cheerios: B

Honey Nut Cheerios are an iconic cereal and it is one of the most well liked cereals out there due to its sweet flavor resembling honey. What makes this cereal pretty good is that with or without milk, it still exhibits a sweet aroma and has a sweet nectar taste. It is a baseline of cereals and helps constitute what a great cereal is. The only flaw about the cereal is the lack of originality because there are several other honey cereals and some have a better taste, but regardless it can assure a sweet start.

Cap’n Crunch Crunch Berries: A

The captain is steering this cereal in the right direction. The immaculate flavor that this cereal delivers is unbelievable. There is something magical that this cereal possesses because every time this cereal is consumed, productivity spikes and The captain has found a hidden treasure because the crunch berries compliments the cereal. A mouthful of this cereal spikes the reward system and definitely gets people hooked.

Reese’s Puffs: A+

“R double E S E S YES!” are the iconic words that have echoed in the cereal industry, allowing this cereal to reach monumental status and be enjoyed by everyone.

People who have a peanut allergy are missing out on this flavor-packed combination. Milk or no milk, this cereal will overload the reward system. This cereal can be eaten at any time and by personal recommendation, it hits differently at midnight. Not only is the cereal so phenomenal, but the commercial is iconic that it is a requirement to sing the song before getting a bowl. The song is 100 times better than the music of today and the nostalgia adds to the magic of the cereal, making it the best one ever to be made.